Archive | September, 2015
5 Sep

Religiously, if I’m being honest, I don’t know where I stand.  I am not sure I stand concretely in any one religion, and I don’t think I should have to.  I believe in something greater than myself, but have trouble believing it is a an actual form with gender and physical features.  I don’t believe in heaven or hell as actual places.  I don’t believe in Satan.  I do believe that loving all people is our purpose.  All people.  Regardless of who they love, how they love, or whether or not I like them.  My calling is to love them.  I believe in karma and reincarnation, but I’m not sure I think it’s fair for past lives to bring ruin on present ones.  I’m also not sure that they don’t.  I also don’t think we change so much physically from one life to the next.  Our essence has a purpose and our form is the vehicle.  Too much change inhibits purpose.  Our form may evolve to better serve our purpose.

I believe that we meet some people again and again for various reasons.  I believe in soul mates, but not that one’s soul is incomplete without them.  Somewhere in our journey, we meet them and they are the people that bring us awareness and help us stretch beyond where we can stretch alone.  We’re not less without them, we are simply more with them.  And when they appear, something inside sighs and becomes calm in their familiarity.  The world seems less chaotic.  We are less afraid to reach beyond our routines and be uncomfortable.  Whether this familiarity pulls us together or pushes us apart is up to us.  Depending where we are in our self-development, we either accept this person and trust ourselves or we  reject them via doubt and disbelief.  Either way, we will meet them over and over because eventually our awareness will be heightened enough that we would be more afraid to lose them than to be wrong.

I don’t believe in ghosts.  I do believe in people between physical forms.  I don’t believe they are trying to hurt anyone.

I believe in free will.  That while things may fall in place as energies push them to, we are not fixed to one path.

I believe we all have ‘God’ or whatever the greater energy is within us.  That we are not pawns, we are part of a web of higher consciousness.  That what we put out does matter and can change things.  That what we focus on can be altered by our energy.  That we are responsible for our own energies and being aware of how we may affect the world.  We have a responsibility to think of others.  We have a responsibility to be positive.  ‘Good’ and ‘bad’ are subjective, but we must strive to be kind and compassionate and unselfish.

I believe that bringing someone to religion isn’t at all important.  I believe living by example is extremely important.  Things like pay it forward absolutely matter.  Giving of one’s self absolutely matters.  Materialism is neither good nor bad unless it becomes one’s focus and they stop setting a positive example or trying to connect to others.

I believe whatever ritual brings you a deeper sense of connection to the universe is right.  Unless it is through harm or ill intent.  Then it is wrong.  An eye for an eye does nothing for the world.  Forgiveness does everything for our souls.

I believe we are meant to be happy.  That happiness is like a gate opening, and allows us to serve the world much better.  Humanity challenges happiness.

I believe a lot of things and can’t find one true place to be.  And I think that’s OK.  To better connect to people, I should know more about other beliefs.  And not challenge them.  My challenge is to love, to set an example, and to become more my true self.  Letting go of the idea of one right religion, one true God is difficult.  But no more difficult than trying to fit four puzzles together.  Which is a waste of energy I could be directing to much less selfish purposes.


Valley of the Dolls

3 Sep

It is so intricate, this dance we do for


Questing for utopia found

in another person.

Our match; our other half.

Our fathers chased our mothers,

wooing them.  Pursuing their queen with

voracity, intent, and purpose.


courting is dead.  If the queen

doesn’t run, another queen will catch

her beloved’s eye.

She must be fascinating; she must be

mysterious; she must feign disinterest

and walk the tightrope between apathy

and inquiry, wondering if her bait is effective.

Plastic crowns require no investment, no effort.

He is satiated for minutes and wonders why.

Without intimacy, without choice, we make each other

bleed.  We burn in this dance.

It’s bullshit.

I am my own match.  I am king and queen

of my kingdom.  I am not a prize to be won, nor

a peacock spreading her feathers to entice

her mate.

Walk beside me, unpainted, no cloak

to distort my essence.

Harmony cannot be found

without focus, dissonance only

fixed with practice.

My song still plays


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